Futurama

"So You're Going To Die..."

____________________________________

TAMMY CORIZIS

11 GEORGIA

POINTE-CLAIRE

QUEBEC

H9R-5V7

CANADA

PHONE # (514) 697-0917

TELEPLAY BY

TAMMY CORIZIS

LITEARY AGENT

Terry Chase Chenowith

4822 Hollow Corner Rd. #277

Culver City, CA. 90230

_______________________________________________

FADE IN:

INT. PLANET EXPRESS - DAY.

FRY ENTERS CARRYING BOXES.

ANDREA AND BENDER WATCH WITH THEIR ARMS

CROSSED.

ANDREA

So Bender, you going to that

Rave tonight?

FRY DROPS HIS BOXES, SHOCKED.

FRY

There’s a Rave?

BENDER

You didn’t know? Sheesh, where

have you been?

FRY

I’ve been busy working my ass

off the past week. (Miserably)

Andrea has it easy because it’s

her birthday.

LEELA AND PROFESSOR FRANSWORTH ENTER

BLOWING STREAMERS.

BOTH ARE WEARING PARTY HATS.

LEELA

Happy twenty fourth birthday

Andrea!

ANDREA

That’s not until tomorrow...

LEELA

Around here we like to do

things in advance.

ANDREA

Cool, cool...

LEELA

So, how does it feel to finally

be twenty four?

ANDREA

I don’t feel any different...

BENDER

I don’t think you’re supposed to

feel any different just because

you’re turning one year older...

ANDREA

Do I look twenty four?

FRY

No. You still look twenty three.

ANDREA

Starting tomorrow, I can finally

get a job!

FADE TO BLACK:

(OPENING THEME SONG AND ANIMATION FOR

FUTURAMA PLAYS)

EXT. STREET - DAY.

ANDREA WALKS WITH BENDER AND FRY.

BENDER

Twenty four... Wow! How does it

feel?

ANDREA

(Annoyed) It’s not my birthday

yet!

FRY

Well, Leela did say that they do

everything in advance around here.

BENDER

Yeah, so TECHNICALLY, you are now

twenty four years old.

ANDREA

(Carelessly) Yeah, sure, fine,

whatever.

BENDER

(As he takes out a poster) So

Fry, are you gonna go to the

Rave or not? I’m taking Andrea...

It’s a birthday present. Meet some

guys, chill...

FRY

(Sarcastically) Sounds like you

guys will be having a blast.

ANDREA

Don’t tell me they’re making you

work on my birthday...

FRY

(Sadly) Yep.

ANDREA

That sucks!

BENDER

Yeah! That sucks!

FRY

Look, this is something that I

have to do. I’ve gotta deliver

this package to Venus.

ANDREA

Hmm... Men are from Mars...

BENDER

Women are from Venus.

ANDREA

(Gasps) You’re seeing someone

on Venus, aren’t you? (Sniffs)

Fry how could you?

BENDER

(Comforting Andrea) There, there...

(To Fry) Shame on you!

FRY

I’m not seeing ANYONE from Venus.

They’re all freaks!

AN OLD LADY CARRYING A CANE APPROACHES

FRY.

OLD LADY

I’m from Venus.

BENDER

Freak.

THE OLD LADY HITS BENDER WITH HER CANE,

THEN LEAVES WHISTLING INNOCENTLY.

FRY

See Andrea? What did I tell you?

ANDREA

Fine, I believe you.

FRY PUTS HIS HANDS ON ANDREA’S SHOULDERS.

FRY

I really have to make this

delivery. I want you to go with

Bender to that Rave and have the

time of your life.

ANDREA

Be miserable? Okay, great! I can

do that.

ANDREA WALKS AWAY.

FRY LEANS IN CLOSE TO BENDER AND WHISPERS:

FRY

I want you to make sure she has

a good time.

BENDER

(Salutes) Yes sir! But what if

I wanna go mingle?

FRY

Take Andrea with you. Just make

sure she doesn’t get into bed

with anybody. Guys that go to

Rave’s are usually drunks. Hey,

I have an idea! Pretend you’re

Andrea’s boyfriend.

BENDER

A robot dating a human? Won’t

that look a little weird?

FRY

I guess so. But if people see

that you’re her boyfriend, they

won’t go near her. Understand?

BENDER

I read you loud and clear.

FRY

Good. I have to go to work now.

It’s a two day trip to Venus you

know.

BENDER

Well, see you around Fry.

CUT TO:

INT. FRANSWORTH’S SHIP - DAY.

FRY ENTERS CARRYING HIS CARGo.

FRY

(To Leela) What are we delivering

anyways?

LEELA

I don’t know. Somebody told me

that it was Top Secret.

FRY

Top Secret, eh?

LEELA

Fry, don’t even think about

opening that crate. You don’t

know what could be lurking

inside it.

FRY

(Innocently) Oh... I won’t --

LEELA TURNS HER BACK TO FRY.

FRY GOES TO OPEN THE CRATE BUT, LEELA

SMACKS HIS HAND AWAY.

LEELA

(Warnfully) Fry!

FADE TO BLACK:

INT. BAR - DAY.

BENDER SITS WITH ANDREA, IN HIS HAND,

HE HOLDS A SHEET OF PAPER AND A PENCIL.

BENDER

Okay, so, you suspect Fry is

having an affair on Venus with

some other chick?

ANDREA

Yep.

BENDER

And you obviously don’t like

the fact that he’s going.

ANDREA

Correct.

BENDER

I’m sure girls are from Mars

and men are from Venus.

ANDREA

Well, you know what they say,

when under Venus, look for a --

BAR TENDER

(To Andrea) Hey, I happen to be

from Venus.

ANDREA

That’s nice but we’re not

talking about you. We’re talking

about my boyfriend, Fry.

BAR TENDER

What about him?

ANDREA

Well, I think he might be

having an affair with someone

on Venus.

BAR TENDER

So, your boyfriend is gay.

BENDER

Can’t be. I know Fry like the

back of my hand.

BENDER SEES A DROP OF OIL ON HIS LEFT

HAND.

BENDER (CON’T)

What the hell is that?!

ANDREA

My boyfriend is not gay! He

wouldn’t be dating me then!

BAR TENDER

There are only men on Venus.

BENDER

Ha!

ANDREA

Well, my Aunt Leela has a lot

to look forward to... Poor Fry.

BENDER

Yeah -- (Carelessly) Poor Fry.

CUT TO:

INT. PLANET EXPERSS - DAY.

AMY AND PROFESSOR FRANSWORTH HANG UP

BANNERS AND BIRTHDAY DECORATIONS.

AMY

Wow, this is Andrea’s first

year here with us.

FRANSWORTH

Yes. I hope Leela and Fry get

back soon. I have no intension

of making that birthday cake

all by myself.

AMY

How hard can making a birthday

cake be?

FRANSWORTH

Why don’t we just go buy one?

AMY

Do you think Andrea will be

able to tell the difference?

FRABSWORTH

(Carelessly) Who cares. At

least she gets a cake.

AMY

Good point.

CUT TO:

INT. BAKERY - DAY.

AMY AND FRANSWORTH ENETR THE BAKERY.

FRABSWORTH

Let’s get her a chocolate

covered moose cake.

AMY

That’s TOO much chocolate.

FRANSWORTH

Chocolate chip?

AMY

Now THAT I know she’ll like.

FRANSWORTH

Good, because I’m not changing

it even if she doesn’t like it.

THE OWNER OF THE BAKERY PUTS A CAKE

ON THE TABLE, THEN SPRINKLES IT WITH

CHOCOLATE CHIPS.

AMY

Hey, he’s making one fresh out

of the oven!

FRANSWORTH

Let’s grab that one.

AMY

Looks edable to me.

AMY AND PROFESSOR FRANSWORTH APPROACH

THE COUNTER AND GRAB THE CAKE.

FRANSWORTH

We need this cake.

PROEFSSOR FRANSWORTH THROWS A TWENTY

DOLLAR BILL ON THE COUNTER, THEN CLOSES

THE BOX.

AMY

Keep the change.

AMY AND PROFESSOR FRANSWORTH LEAVE.

BAKER

No wait! That cake is not for

sale! It is not from this part

of the world!

THE DOOR CLOSES.

BAKER (CON’T)

Oh dear...

CUT TO:

INT. FRANSWORTH’S SHIP - NIGHT.

FRY SPEAKS TO ANDREA THROUGH A WRIST

COMMUNICATOR.

FRY

Hi Sweetie!

ON FRY’S COMMUNICATOR, WE SEE ANDREA

SITTING AT A BOOTH WITH BENDER.

ANDREA

Hey Fry. Are you almost there?

FRY

Well, we still have a few more

light years to go. But don’t

worry, when I get back, I’m

gonna throw you my own party

you can invite whoever you want.

ANDREA

Cool, but um... I have some bad

news for ya.

FRY

Good news first.

ANDREA

Men are from Venus, women are

from Mars.

FRY

What?! (Realizing) I mean...

Really?

BENDER

Yep. So tell Leela she has a

lot to look forward to.

ANDREA

So would you... If you were

going to Mars that is.

FRY

All right... And what’s the

BAD news?

ANDREA

Everybody at the Rave thinks

that Bender is my boyfriend!

And I’ve made so many friends.

FRY

THAT’S bad news?

ANDREA

It should be to you... Well,

since I’m drunk I wouldn’t really

know... Chow!

FRY

No, wait! Sweetie! Put Bender

on!

THE COMMUNICATOR GOES STATIC.

FRY ANGRILY SHUTS IT OFF.

FRY (CON’T)

Damn it! I knew it was a bad

idea.

CUT TO:

INT. UNDERGROUND RAVE - NIGHT.

“THAT’S THE WAY, I LIKE IT” BLARES FROM

A RADIO.

EVERYBODY DANCES.

ANDREA AND BENDER SIT AT A BAR, BOTH

ARE DRUNK.

ANDREA

When that clock strikes twelve,

I’m gonna be twenty four!

BENDER

And then we’re gonna score!

ANDREA

Hey, that rhymed...

BENDER

Wanna take a drive later on? I

can take you up this really

romantic road.

ANDREA

Roods --

BENDER

Just remind me to stick to the

speed limit.

ANDREA

That’s another one of those

freaky words.

BENDER

Oh my God, I’m drunk...

ANDREA TRIES TO WALK, BUT CAN’T.

BENDER (CON’T)

So are you!

ANDREA

Let’s blow this Rave. I need

some action.

BENDER PULLS ANDREA INTO ANOTHER ROOM,

THEN CLOSES THE DOOR.

ANDREA COME SOUT A SECOND LATER, BUT

IS PULLED BACK INTO THE ROOM AGAIN.

BENDER (O.S.)

Grr --

ANDREA (O.S.)

Hey!

CUT TO:

INT. PLANET EXPRESS - THE NEXT DAY.

AMY PLACES THE CAKE ON A TABLE

SURROUNDED BY PRESENTS.

FRY ENTERS WITH LEELA.

BOTH ARE EXHAUSTED.

FRY

Somebody should really think

about inventing a teleportation

device.

LEELA

Those aren’t supposed to be

invented until the year four

thousand.

FRY FALLS DOWN ON A NEARBY COUCH.

LEELA (CON’T)

(To Amy) Are Bender and Andrea

here?

AMY

Well, theyd idn’t come home

last night.

LEELA

(Surprised) They didn’t?

FRY IMMEDIATELY WAKES UP.

FRY

Oh my God! What if they got

rapped? Or kidnapped? And

it’s all my fault because I

wanted Andrea to have a good

time on her birthday.

ANDREA AND BENDER WALK IN.

ANDREA

Morning Fry.

FRY

(Happily) Andrea!

FRY HUGS ANDREA TIGHTLY.

ANDREA

You’re cutting off my

circulation!

FRY LETS ANDREA GO, THEN GOES TO HUG

BENDER BUT --

BENDER

Don’t touch me...

BENDER CROSSES HIS ARMS AS FRY BACKS

AWAY.

FRY

Okay... Somebody’s pissed.

ANDREA

Oooh, cake!

ANDREA CUTS A PIECE OF CAKE.

AMY

Chocolate chip to be exact.

ON ANDREA

AS SHE TAKES A PIECE OF CAKE AND

SAWLLOWS IT.

ANDREA

Not bad.

LEELA SPOTS A LABEL ON THE CAKE,

THEN ANGRILY TURNS TO AMY.

LEELA

(Angrily) Where did you get

this?

AMY

At that new bakery that just

opened up.

LEELA

(Surprised) WHAT new bakery?

CUT TO:

EXT. BAKERY - DAY.

FEY, LEELA, AMY, ANDREA, AND PROFESSOR

FRANSWORTH STAND IN FRONT OF A DESERTED

ALLEY WAY.

AMY

Well, this is the place.

(Realizing) Hey, where did the

bakery go?

EVERYBODY GASPS.

CUT TO:

EXT, BAKERY - DAY. (2ND UNIT)

A LOUD HOWL ECHOES THROUGHOUT THE ALLEY.

ANDREA GRABS ONTO FRY.

ANDREA

Kind of creepy.

LEELA

Well, I don’t see a bakery

anywhere, do you?

AMY

What are you talking about?

It was right here!

FRANSWORTH

It WAS right here.

FRY

I’m feeling sick.

ANDREA

Did you eat a piece of that

cake?

FRY

No, I ate something from Venus.

The King was holding a feast and

Leela and I were apart of it. It

was just steak though.

LEELA

Thank God I didn’t eat anything.

ANDREA

Maybe they poisoned you.

FRY

Please, I delivered their food.

LEELA

Well, it was Top Secret.

ANDREA

I’m gonna kill the guy that did

this to you.

FRY

Well, it’s too late now. It’s

already being digested.

BENDER

Maybe they fed you food poisoning.

ANDREA

Then we have to get Fry to a

doctor, and fast.

CUT TO:

INT. DOCTOR’S OFFICE - DAY.

FRY SITS WITH HIS SHIRT OFF.

ANDREA SITS ON A NEARBY CHAIR.

A WORRIED LOOK RESTS ON HER FACE.

FRY

Andrea -- What if it really WAS

poison?

ANDREA

Then they might have to cut you

open and take it out.

FRY

Cool!

A DOCTOR ENTERS CARRYING A CLIPBOARD.

DOCTOR

Fry...

FRY

That’s me.

DOCTOR

I know.

FRY

Oh.

DOCTOR

What seems to be the problem

today?

FRY

My girlfriend thinks I’ve been

poisoned.

ANDREA

Well, that’s what happens when

you eat food from other planets.

Especially when the secret

ingrediant is... DEATH!

FRY

Will you knock it off? I am NOT

going to die!

THE DOCTOR LISTENS TO FRY’S HEART.

IT SOUNDS LIKE THE FUTURAMA THEME

SONG AT FIRST.

IT THEN GOES SLOWER.

DOCTOR

Mr. Fry, I’m afraid you have

been poisoned.

FRY

WOO HOO!

ANDREA LOOKS AT FRY, SHOCKED.

ANDREA

You actually WANT to die?

FRY

Well, not REALLY. But I always

what it would be like to die...

ANDREA

(Disgusted) You’re sick.

DOCTOR

Ms. Andrews, can you step

outside for a minute? I want

to run a few tests on your

boyfriend before you go to

make sure.

ANDREA

(Sadly) Mmm hmm...

ANDREA LEAVES THE ROOM AND CLOSES THE

DOOR.

INT. WAITING ROOM - DAY.

LEELA COMFORTS ANDREA AS SHE SITS ON

A CHAIR NOT TOO FAR FROM THE DOCTOR’S

OFFICE.

A CONCERNED LOOK RESTS ON HER FACE.

BENDER APPROACHES ANDREA HOLDING A

CUP OF COFFEE. SHE REJECTS IT.

BENDER

Fine, more for me.

LEELA

Bender, this isn’t the time

to joke around. It’s a time

to be serious. Fry’s life

could be at stake. It’s

Andrea’s birthday today and

I don’t think she needs all

this extra attention right

now.

BENDER

Oh, and like YOU haven’t left

her alone lately.

LEELA

I am her aunt! She wants me

here!

BENDER

Fine, I’ll leave.

ANDREA GRABS BENDER BY THE ARM.

THE DOCTOR’S DOOR OPENS AND EVERYONE

GETS UP.

FRY APPROACHES ANDREA, HE DOESN’T

SEEM TO BE TOO HAPPY.

ANDREA

Fry --

FRY

I --

DOCTOR

Miss Andrews, can you come with

me a minute please?

ANDREA FOLLOWS THE DOCTOR BEHIND A

WALL.

BENDER EVESDROPS.

DOCTOR (CON’T)

Your boyfriend is very sick.

I’ve offered to give him an

operation, but he refused.

ANDREA

(Frantic) That stupid bastard!

He’s always been stobborn.

DOCTOR

So far, it isn’t that serious.

Since he only ate a little, it

should digest properly and his

pancrius should go down in a

couple of days.

ANDREA

(Happily) That’s good news, right?

DOCTOR

Yes. But if it doesn’t, then

I’m afraid he’s going to die.

ANDREA GASPS IN HORROR.

DOCTOR (CON’T)

I’m sorry Miss Andrews.

THE DOCTOR LEAVES BEHIND A STUNNED

ANDREA ON HIS WAY OUT.

FADE TO BLACK:

INT. WAITING ROOM - DAY.

ANDREA COMES OUT, DEPRESSED.

ANDREA

(Sadly) Well... I guess this is

it.

FRY PUTS HIS HAND ON ANDREA’S SHOULDER

AS SHE TRIES TO HOLD BACK HER TEARS.

FRY

Oh, honey --

ANDREA

You always were a stubborn little

bastard Fry. Why can’t you just

have the operation, Fry? You get a

cool scar.

FRY

What if they mess up and I end up

dying anyways?

ANDREA

I guess you have a point.

CUT TO:

INT. FRY’S APARTMENT - NIGHT.

FRY IS IN THE BATHROOM TOPLESS. HE

LOOKS AT HIS STOMACH WHICH LOOKS A

LITTL SWOLLON.

FRY

Eww -- Maybe I should have that

operation to make Andrea feel a

little better. She is taking this

me dying thing a little too

seriously. If there was going to

be a day where I had to die, why

did it have to be on Andrea’s

birthday?

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT.

ANDREA EVESDROPS ON FRY AS HE SAYS

HIS PRAYERS IN THE BATHROOM.

FRY (O.S.)

Hey God... It’s me. Fry. (Sadly) I

know I haven’t been faithful, or

LOYAL to anybody. Especially my

girlfriend Andrea, but if you can

find it in your heart to forgive

me, you’ll help me survive the

night. Your loyal pal, Fry. PS,

I promise to never bother you

this late again.

FRY LEAVES THE BATHROOM AND HUGS

ANDREA TIGHTLY.

ANDREA

Fry... If you don’t pull through...

FRY

Yeah?

ANDREA

Can I have the apartment?

FRY

You little pest...

FADE TO BLACK:

INT. FRY’S APARTMENT - DAY.

ANDREA SLEEPS WITH FRY, WHO SLEEPS ON

HIS SIDE. DROOL HANGS FROM HIS MOUTH.

ANDREA BENDS DOWN TO HEAR FRY SNORING.

ANDREA

(Happily) YOU’RE ALIVE!

FRY GASPS IN HORROR AS ANDREA GRABS

HIM BY THE NECK AND HUGS HIM TIGHTLY,

SWINGING HIM AROUND.

ANDREA (CON’T)

Honey, you’re alive! I’m so

happy it wasn’t that serious!

Can I get you anything? I back

rub, breakfast? A dirty magazine?

FRY MOANS TIREDLY.

FRY

It’s times like this I wish I

WERE dead.

FADE OUT:

THE END