Futurama "A New Season Has Landed" ____________________________________ TAMMY CORIZIS 11 GEORGIA POINTE-CLAIRE QUEBEC H9R-5V7 CANADA PHONE # (514) 697-0917 TELEPLAY BY TAMMY CORIZIS LITEARY AGENT Terry Chase Chenowith 4822 Hollow Corner Rd. #277 Culver City, CA. 90230 _______________________________________________ FADE IN: INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT. CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS AS BENDER SLIRPS HIS SOUP. ANDREA LOOKS AT HIM ODDLY. BEHIND AN ENORMOUS PLANT, FRY, LEELA, AND AMY WATCH. BENDER CONTINUES TO SLIRP HIS SOUP AS ANDREA TALKS. ANDREA You know Bender, these last two weeks... All I can think about, is you. ANDREA PUTS HER HANDS ON HER LAP AND SMILES AT BENDER CUTELY AS HE LOOKS UP. ANDREA (CON'T) (In her head) This'll make him stop. BENDER Really? ANDREA Yeah. Really. BENDER So, you TOTALLY forgot all about Fry? ANDREA (Nods) Yep. Yes siree bob. I'm a free spirited woman that can now do what she pleases. BENDER Woo hoo! BENDER JUMPS UP HAPPILY KNOCKING ALL OF ANDREA'S SOUP ON HER DRESS. ANDREA My dress! ANDREA IMMEDIATELY SITS UP AND LOOKS AT HER BLACK DRESSE. BENDER Uh oh... FADE TO BLACK: (OPENING THEME AND ANIMATION FOR FUTURAMA PLAYS) INT. FRANSWORTH'S SHIP - NIGHT. ANDREA, NOW IN REGULAR CLOTHES, IS IN THE KITCHEN DRINKING A GLASS OF MILK. FRY So, how'd your date with Bender go last night? ANDREA TRIES NOT TO BLUSH. FRY (CON'T) (Teasing) Looks like SOMEBODY has a new boyfriend... ANDREA (Angrily) He's NOT my boyfriend! I mean, sure we had a few affairs... But -- FRY Oh no, affairs don't mean anything. ANDREA He's a self-centered jerk! He -- He ruined the dress Leela bought me, embarassed me at dinner, and as far as I'm concerned, I never wanna hear the name "BENDER" as long as I live! FRY PATS ANDREA ON THE BACK FOR COMFORT. FRY There there. I bet you two will be talking again before lunch. ANDREA Yeah, right. BENDER WALKS IN CHEERFULLY HOLDING A BUNCH OF DEAD FLOWERS. BENDER Hi Andrea. ANDREA Hi Bender. FRY See? ANDREA D'oh! BENDER What the hell is your problem? ANDREA I'm not supposed to talk to you. BENDER Oh no? And why is that? ANDREA Because you ruined dinner last night, jack ass! BENDER Hey! Don't call me a jack ass! I felt so bad for ruining your dress that I even went out of my way to buy you flowers. FRY (Sarcastically) Awe, isn't that sweet? ANDREA (Gasps) Oh my God... BENDER (Confused) What? ANDREA The flowers you got me are dead. BENDER EXAMINES THE FLOWERS. BENDER They were ALIVE when I bought them. ANDREA Bender, you can't even ask for forgiveness properly. Excuse me, I have to go to work. ANDREA LEAVES THE ROOM. FRY Somebody's PMSing. BENDER She hates me. FRY Yep. BENDER (Angrily) Oh yeah, you're a lot of comfort! FRY SHRUGS CONFUSED. CUT TO: EXT. STREET - DAY. ANDREA, IN HER POLICE UNIFORM, WALKS WITH LEELA UP THE STREET. LEELA Don't worry about the dress. I can get it cleaned. ANDREA This isn't about the dress. I mean, Bender ruined an entire date last night and he expects me to accept his apology over a bunch of dead flowers. LEELA STOPS TO TALK WITH ANDREA WHO CROSSES HER ARMS AND LOOKS AWAY. LEELA Well, have you guys sat down to talk about it? ANDREA No. I'd just end up making it worse. I don't wanna be a bitch Aunt Leela -- (Sighs) But I really like Bender, a lot. He just doesn't know how to terat girls. LEELA Well, maybe that's because the poor guy has never had a girlfriend before. You gotta be patient with these kind of things. Especially with Bender. Maybe he doesn't know how to treat you because you're a human? ANDREA Nah. That can't be it. LEELA (Shrugs) Well, you can always crawl back to Fry. He wants you. AND he's still single. ANDREA Maybe they'll be a time for me and Fry again but now I wanna work on me and Bender, what does Bender like? LEELA You mean besides pornography? Maybe you guys should go see a Broadway Show. ANDREA Nah, I hate that kind of crap. LEELA Planet Of The Monks. Come on. I bet you guys will have so much fun you'll never wanna leave. ANDREA I bet I'll wanna be the first one out of there. CUT TO: EXT. THEATER - LINE UP - NIGHT. FRY HAS HIS ARM AROUND ANDREA'S WAIST. AMY SLOWLY TAKES ANDREA'S ARM AWAY FROM FRY'S WAIST AND PUTS IT AROUND BENDER'S. ANDREA LOOKS DISGUSTED AS SHE AND BENDER STARE AT ONE NAOTHER. AMY There. Now aren't you two the happy couple? ANDREA (Miserably) Whatever. BENDER Hey, I can be home enjoying the season final to All My Circuits. But nooooooooooooo Leela wanted us to patch things up. AMY Yeah. So she doesn't go crawling back to Fry. FRY But I like it when Andrea crawls back to me. It makes her realize that I was right and she was wrong. LEELA I can't believe you. All of you. We're here to make sure Bender and Andrea stay together and all you guys can do is fight. FRY Andrea started it. ANDREA I did not, YOU did. AMY Hey, guys, guys... Do I have to say something REALLY mean in my native language to shut you all up or what? BENDER Who the hell died and made YOU God? ANDREA Yeah?! Come on Bender let's go in without them. BENDER TAKES ANDREA'S HAND AND THEY ENTER THE THEATER. LEELA GRABS THE BOTH OF THEM BY THE ARM AND PULLS THEM BACK TOWARD HER. LEELA You guys just can't walk in like that. You have to wait your turn like everybody else. BENDER (Angrily) This blows. ANDREA (Sighs) Yeah. A LIMO PULLS UP ACROSS THE STREET. FRY POINTS FORWARD. FRY Hey, who's the big shot? JOHN TRAVOLTA AND BRUCE WILLIS STEP OUT. AMY You mean big SHOTS. ANDREA They're still around? LEELA Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. They'll be holding auditions for Battlefield Earth here. AMY I thought that movie was being shot in Canada. BENDER Canada sucks. Besides, that was three thousand years ago. This is the sequel. FRY & ANDREA COOL! ANDREA I've always wanted to be in a movie. JOHN TRAVOLTA WALKS BY ANDREA AND EYES HER. LEELA (Gasps) Did you see that? AMY He looked at you! ANDREA FAINTS. FADE TO BLACK: EXT. THEATER - LINE - NIGHT. AMY AND LEELA HELP ANDREA TO HER FEET. BENDER HOLDS HER UP. ANDREA Are you sure he was looking at ME? AMY Well, actually... It wasn't a LONG stare. I guess you can call it a GLANCE. ANDREA Glance? Look? What's the difference? The guy still looked at me. I think I'm gonna faint again. BENDER Please, do. Then I can carry you home, throw you on the bed -- FRY SHUDDERS. ANDREA GIVES BENDER A KISS. ANDREA You're so cute. BENDER BLUSHES AS BRUCE WILLIS APPROACHES ANDREA, LEELA, FRY, AND AMY. BRUCE You guys will be PERFECT! Just the future stars we've been looking for all our lives! EVERYONE GASPS. ANDREA For real? BRUCE For real. (To Leela) You young lady, can play an alien extra. LEELA (Excitedly) You mean I get a part in the film? BRUCE (To Andrea) And you can be the teenager she abducts. LEELA But there's no such thing as alien abduction. BRUCE Hey, this is science fiction, okay? Nobody gives a damn. ANDREA Do I get speaking lines? BRUCE You get to scream a lot. ANDREA Kick ass... BRUCE (To Fry) And YOU my friend, can play the teenager's lover that goes completely mad after he discovers that she has been abducted by aliens and is being held captive on their Mother Ship. FRY Radicle! Do Andrea and I get a love scene? BRUCE Well, the movie is PG 13. I think we can squeeze a tiny one in. FRY Woo hoo! BRUCE Now, the robot and the Chinise girl... I can see the robot playing an alcoholic that's just lost the girl of his dreams. The Chinise girl's home planet is inhabited by the one eyed girl's alien race and Earth is their main target. LEELA (Offended) Do you guys always have to make fun of my eye? CUT TO: INT. STUDIO - DAY. FRY WAITS BEHIND A DOOR LOOKING A LITTLE NERVOUS AS JOHN TRAVOLTA APPROACHES HIM. JOHN What's the matter, son? FRY It's this movie Mr. Travolta. I mean, me and Andrea just broke up not too long ago. The love scene won't feel right. JOHN You wanted it. Now she's waiting for you to walk on that set and give her the best damn love any man can ever give her. Maybe she'll take you back and everything will go back the way it used to. Now, when that red light goes on, you walk through the door and enter the room. Cooly. Think you can do that? FRY RUNS HIS HANDS THROUGH HIS HAIR. FRY (Cooly) I'm a natural born love machine. BRUCE (O.S.) And... ACTION! THE RED LIGHT GOES ON AND FRY GOES THROUGH THE DOOR. HE THEN APPROACHES ANDREA COOLY. FRY GETS DOWN ON THE BED ON TOP OF ANDREA. WE PAN OVER TO BENDER WHO COVERS HIS EYES. AS FRY GOES TO KISS ANDREA, THE DOOR BURSTS OPEN AND LEELA IS REVEALED HOLDING A RAY GUN. LEELA All humans must die! FRY Oh my God! ANDREA HUGS FRY, SCARED AS LEELA ENTERS THE ROOM IN BATTLE CLOTHES. ANDREA What the hell is THAT? LEELA I'm here to destroy Earth and all it's inhabitants. FRY Um, excuse me... This isn't Earth. ANDREA Yeah. This is Jupiter. LEELA Guess I better go plant my giant "LASER" on the right planet then. But I'll have to destroy you first. FRY AND ANDREA GASP IN HORROR. BRUCE Aaaaaaaaaand... CUT! Okay that was great guys. Go home, rest, then come back the next day. Actually, we'll call you. CUT TO: INT. PLANET EXPRESS - DAY. ANDREA, FRY, LEELA, AMY, AND BENDER WAIT BY THE PHONE. PROFESSOR FRANSWORTH ENTERS THE ROOM WITH A TREY OF FOOD. FRY They're not gonna call back. BENDER Yeah. They probably found better actors. FRY Damn it, I was really looking forward to that love scene with Andrea. BENDER I wasn't. AMY (To Fry) You and Andrea can make love whenever you want. The only person in your way right now is Bender. BENDER Haw, haw! FRY (To Andrea) So, do you wanna go practice that love scene? BENDER Not with my girlfriend you aren't. You can do that with yourself. FRY (Shudders) Eew... No thank you. BENDER LIGHTS A CIGAR. BENDER You're always so full of yourself anyways. FADE TO BLACK: INT. STUDIO - DAY. LEELA, FRY, ANDREA, AMY, AND BENDER WALK INTO THE STUDIO AND SEE EVERYONE PACKING. ANDREA What's going on? LEELA Maybe they're moving the set. LEELA MAKES HER WAY OVER TO JOHN TRAVOLTA WHILE ANDREA TIES HER SHOES. ANDREA Loop one over loop two... BENDER (Sarcastically) Yeah they taught that on Barney in the year two thousand and eight. And they still show reruns. FRY Really? Hmm maybe I should watch it some time. PAN TO THE GROUND WE SEE THAT FRY'S SHOE LACE IS UNTIED. LEELA What do you mean they're moving to another town? It's perfect here. And you already have your cast. JOHN LOOKS OVER TO SEE THAT FRY IS TRYING TO TIE HIS SHOE, ANDREA IS WATCHING HIM DISBELIEVED, AND AMY IS LAUGHING WHILE BENDER SMOKES A CIGAR. JOHN I could probably get better. LEELA If you leave now I can assure you that you'll NEVER work in this town again. JOHN (Carelessly) Yeah, whatever. CUT TO: EXT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT. BENDER AND ANDREA STAND OUTSIDE THE RESTAURANT. BEGIN END TITLES. BEGIN MUSIC TO "I'M A BARBIE GIRL." BENDER Wanna give it ONE more try? ANDREA Sure! BENDER Well forget it. ANDREA I'm an Ugly Girl My face makes you hurl You said I have it I should bag it Acne everywhere Unwanted facial hair I'm a relation To Frankinstein's creation! BENDER You're so ugly, you disgust me. ANDREA I'm a bland Homely girl All alone in the world I'm as flat as a board Thin and lanky BENDER You're a dog Get a troll Were you hit by a train? Don't come near me because your breath is skanky ANDREA Don't g et touched I'm afraid 'Cause guys say, I'm an eye sore I'm an ugly girl My face makes your hurl You said I had it I should bag it Acne everywhere Unwanted facial hair I'm a relation To Frankinstein's creation! BENDER You're so ugly you disgust me. ANDREA Boo hoo hoo hoo yeah BENDER You're so ugly you disgust me. ANDREA Ooo ah oo, oo ah ooo! Let's go and try that date all over again! BENDER Sorry but you're too damn ugly! ANDREA Oh screw you Bender! END SONG. BENDER AND ANDREA HIGH FIVE. BENDER You're not all those things. ANDREA Dude... (Full of herself) I know. I was making fun of that damn song. BENDER It's about time somebody did. FADE OUT: THE END